Cavewoman Goes to Kohl’s

I know it sounds ridiculous, but department stores and shopping malls make me feel like a neanderthal.

As a work-at-home new mom in a one-car family, I don’t get out much. If I am out to shop, it’s most likely for food and other necessities. So, I can navigate the grocery store and local quick stops.

But if there aren’t grid like aisles and an airy produce section, I’m easily confused.

Fortunately, I’ve never been a fan of the mall or big box stores, so avoiding them is generally not too tough.

Over the weekend, however, I ventured to Kohl’s to buy a bridal gift from a friend’s registry.

The second I walked in the doors I felt out of place and disoriented. I couldn’t even spot the escalator, which was in the usual place. I actually had to ask an associate where it was.

Granted, it was early in the day for a second shift girl to be out. But you’d think I could manage finding the upper floor of a familiar chain store.

And of course, once I got there, obtaining the shower curtain on the registry was nearly impossible.

Everything was just so bright and shiny – between trying not to run into a bride-to-be agonizing over pillow options and a few confused looking husbands, I couldn’t locate the shower curtain to save my life. All I could think about was the bombardment of choices Kohl’s customers must weed through, just to buy something that really isn’t much different than the item on the next rack.

After choosing an alternative gift and making my way to checkout, I bumbled through paying with debit and refusing all offers of membership cards and immediate discounts.

I hurried to the correct exit (after trying the wrong one)  and walked into the sun with a relief suited to holiday shopping trauma. I felt like an escaped feral cat, and am sure I was rockin’ a little crazy eye.

Maybe I should leave the house more often…